


Faith

by emynii, ObliObla



Series: Nia & Obli's Whumptober 2019 [6]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Gen, Having Faith, Hurt Ella Lopez, Hurt/Comfort, Mugging, Season/Series 04, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 06:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emynii/pseuds/emynii, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliObla/pseuds/ObliObla
Summary: Ella had been looking forsomethingfor months, after Charlotte, after Pierce. Sometimes she’d reach for that place in her heart where faith had been and find only questions.It was starting to get easier to just not look.For the Whumptober prompt: dragged away





	Faith

Ella was feeling soft and lovely, running her fingers through her hair as she wandered through the doors to Lux and down the sidewalk. She’d been looking for _ something _ for months, after Charlotte, after Pierce. Sometimes she’d reach for that place in her heart where faith had been and find only questions. It was starting to get easier to just not look. She leaned against the wall, scrambling in her purse for her phone to call an uber.

“Hey.”

She blinked herself back to coherence and looked over at a guy watching her from the entrance to the alley a few feet away.

“Hey!” she said brightly. “Isn’t…isn’t everything just lovely and soft and _ beautiful?”_

He shrugged. “Not as nice as it could be.” He tipped his head toward her. “Good shit?”

She nodded dreamily. “_Great _ shit.”

“Yeah?” He stepped a little closer. “What’s your hookup?”

She didn’t remember his name, Derrick or Jason or _ whatever _ Lucifer’s bartender was called. But she didn’t want to tell some random guy she was getting the pills for free. “A… friend.”

The guy frowned. “Just ‘a friend’?”

“Yeah…” Her head was starting to hurt. She didn’t want to focus on some weird conversation when there was softness and loveliness to do. The breeze swept over her arms, and she shivered from the sensation.

“Oh, come on!” he said, voice suddenly loud. “Just tell me who your guy is.”

She shook her head and started edging back against the wall. The stucco scraped against her elbow, and she shivered harder. There was too much going on and she couldn’t—

“Come _ on!”_ the guy repeated.

She swallowed dryly. “I-I don’t want to.”

“Where are you _ going?”_ he asked, following her. She tried to step back faster, but he caught her arm. His hand was shaking, too. “Look, I’m short for cash, so just _ tell me_.”

“Get off me!” She tried to push him away, but her head was swimming, and he was so much bigger than she was. His hand tightened around her wrist and it _ hurt _ and as soon as she tried to scream, he pulled her back against him and shoved his hand over her mouth.

“I bet you still have some on you,” he said by her ear as he dragged her back into the darkness of the alley. Her purse was on her arm, and her free hand brushed against the fabric of the bag as she tried to break free. She blinked to regain her focus even as the stink of sweat and cigarette smoke washed over her. She managed to pry the purse open, and her fingers grazed the hard plastic edge of her taser before the bag was ripped from her, and she was shoved to the dirty ground.

“Where is it? Where _ is it?”_ he said, frantically digging through her purse. “You wouldn’t believe how shitty a day I’ve had…”

He kept talking, but Ella tuned him out, slowing her panting until she felt a little stronger. She pushed herself off the ground and ran toward the street, or… tried to. But he dropped the purse and grabbed her by the shoulders, pushing her against the wall and she hit her head on the bricks.

Everything was blurry, faint, and confusing. She could hear him breathing behind her, hands harsh and careless where he seemed to be checking her pockets, but she couldn’t quite feel the bricks against her suddenly numb cheek and hands.

“You don’t have _ any?”_ he asked, and she heard a rip as the edge of her blouse tore under his fingers.

“I-I don’t,” she panted. “Please, just—”

And suddenly the guy was gone, and Ella was alone, unable to hold herself up, sliding down the rough bricks, shaking. Her vision grayed out, or maybe the broken ground of the alley just _ was _ gray. She could taste dust in her mouth and much worse things, and couldn’t hear anything but her heart pounding.

_ Breathe, Ella, _ she told herself. _ Just breathe. _

She breathed, and her vision cleared, and sounds began registering again.

She heard a whimper from further down the alley. Her head was _ so _ heavy, but she managed to pull herself up to slump against the wall. The guy was pressed high against the opposite wall, and there was a hand wrapped around his throat. And on the other end of the arm…

“_How dare you touch her against her will_,” Lucifer hissed.

The man scrambled at Lucifer’s hand, but he didn’t seem to be able to dislodge it. His feet dangled feet above the ground, and he kicked out ineffectively. His mouth fell open and he panted. “I-I only wanted her molly, man.”

Lucifer’s fingers tightened around his throat. “And that makes you _ blameless?”_

“N-no, I— Look, I’m _ sorry _. Just… put me down!”

“Oh, no,” Lucifer breathed. “I haven’t had my fun yet.” And Ella swore she saw, through the haze and the lack of focus, Lucifer’s eyes flash red.

The man didn’t have enough air to scream, only wheezing out a rough breath. “Please, _ please _…”

“I’ll _ enjoy _ this punishment,” Lucifer whispered.

A sob escaped Ella’s mouth as she slid down the wall again. Nausea rose, bile coating the inside of her teeth, and she swallowed convulsively. She heard a _ thud _ as Lucifer dropped the man before rushing to her side. She heaved, and he lifted her head, brushing hair from her face.

“Miss Lopez, _ Ella... _”

She took a breath and choked on it. Somewhere, in the distance, there was a rustling sound, and footsteps. But Lucifer’s free hand shot out, and the man cried out as he toppled to the asphalt.

Panic shot through Ella again, and she forced her lips to move. “I-I don’t—”

“Shh, darling. It’s alright.” The ground fell away, and she realized Lucifer had picked her up. He stepped over the body of the man still groaning on the ground. She watched the neon lights of Lux shift over his face, though it was getting harder to focus.

She blinked. She blinked again. “I’m fine,” she said. “I...I’m…”

And everything went black.

* * *

Ella woke with a start, kicking out at an assailant that… wasn’t there. _ Right _ . The guy was gone, and Ella was safe. The guy was gone, and Ella was safe, and she was lying on one of Lucifer’s fancy, _ soft _ leather couches.

“Are you awake, Miss Lopez?” Lucifer asked, kneeling on the floor by the sofa.

“I… think so?” Her head was pounding again.

He was looking at his phone and frowning. “I’m to ask you your name?”

She tried to shake her head, but it made her nauseous again. She pulled herself up to sit. “I don’t have a concussion.”

“Still. Name, please?”

She glared at him, but the effect was ruined by her bleariness, and he only raised an eyebrow. “Ella,” she said softly.

“What day is it?”

She blinked. “Wednesday…?” She had been forgetting, recently. Had only been separating days out into weekends, where she could do whatever the hell she wanted, and work nights, where she tried to sleep for at least a few hours before getting up and everything started all over again..

Lucifer nodded and looked relieved, so she supposed she must have been right. He handed her a few ibuprofen and held up a bright red drink smelling of tomato juice.

She stared at the glass, then back at Lucifer. “You made me a Bloody Mary?”

“A _ Virgin _ Mary, you’ll find.” He smirked. “Though I can’t make a claim as to her current sexual status.”

Ella blinked again.

“Salt, Miss Lopez,” he said, sobering, pressing the drink into her hand. “Now, drink.”

She took the pills obediently, swallowing them with some of the cocktail.

Lucifer hesitated, glancing between Ella and the elevator. "I-I should inform the authorities..." He made to stand up and suddenly a wave of panic overtook her.

"No!" she said, a little too quickly. “I…I can’t—” It was getting harder to focus again. She caught at Lucifer’s shirtsleeves. _ Soft. _

He sighed, but joined her on the couch. He picked up his own drink—she was certain his Mary _ was _ bloody—and drained half of it.

His shirt was _ really _ soft.

“Er… Miss Lopez?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

She blinked. She was leaning against Lucifer’s shoulder, running her fingers down his shirt front. “Uh…” She flopped back to the sofa before leaping to her feet. She stumbled, but her bleary gaze found the elevator. She needed to go home. She needed to—

Lucifer caught her again as she skidded across his weirdly slick stone floors. “You’re alright. Shh, just breathe, darling.”

Ella tried to calm her breathing, leaning against Lucifer’s side. He brushed her hair from her face again, and she frowned, closing her eyes. “What am I even doing?”

Lucifer shook his head—she heard the rustle of fabric as he shifted—pulling her into something that wasn’t _ quite _ a hug, but was a decent concession to one.

“You, my dearest Lopez,” he said with a dramatic sigh, tightening his arm around her shoulders, “are taking a break from the terrible torments of sobriety.“

“I’ve been taking a _ lot _ recently,” she said. Her head hurt again, and it thudded lightly against Lucifer’s chest when she let herself slump.

She felt him shrug.

She bit her lip. “It’s just… Sometimes I’m not sure who I am, you know?”

Lucifer pulled her away from him, gently, to meet her blurry gaze. “You are Ella Lopez, forensic scientist extraordinaire, supplier of nigh endless cheer and somewhat over-enthusiastic embraces.”

She nodded a little glumly. She supposed he was right, but—

“And,” Lucifer continued, looking a little awkward, “_you _ are my friend.”

She smiled, and felt tears come to her eyes. She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around his middle. “I love you _ so much_, buddy,” she practically sobbed against his vest.

He patted her on the head. “Can I get you—? I have some, ah, _plushies_ I use for ecstasy parties…” He made to pull away, but she clung to his shirt.

“No, no, don’t go, please.”

He sighed. “Miss Lopez.”

She grabbed him by the vest again and, not knowing what else to do, spun them around. “Dance with me!”

“I… Ella, I don’t…”

“Come on, you big lug!” She yanked him into a halting rhythm, spinning around and around and around.

“This is absurd,” she heard him mutter, but he swept her up and spun them. And every thought fell away, because she was safe. She was _ safe. _ After she didn’t know how long, she found herself set down next to the piano, and she swayed for a moment, seeing the penthouse properly for the first time. Every surface was covered in pizza boxes and takeout containers and empty glasses. She frowned.

“Lucifer, are you—?”

“I’m fine,” he said, in a voice that brooked no argument.

Ella didn’t have the focus to push, so she spun around, looking for something to distract herself from her thoughts again. She needed...she needed... She saw the bed and wandered up the stairs to collapse onto the mattress.

The sheets were _ so _ soft.

She rubbed her face against them, and grabbed at the pillows, at the blanket, pulling it over herself.

Lucifer chuckled from the living room somewhere.

“Don’t laugh at me,” she mumbled into the pillow. It smelled like Lucifer; it smelled _ nice. _

“Not _ at _you, my dear.” He was standing next to the bed now, it seemed, and she huffed, waving a hand at him. He laughed again. “My sheets are perfect for that warm, soft feeling, aren’t they?”

She muttered an affirmation as she rolled over. The light was suddenly _ way _ too bright, and, seeming to notice this, Lucifer wandered over to the wall and turned the lights down.

Ella blinked at him and regained a little focus. She realized, almost for the first time, that she had stolen Lucifer’s bed. She pulled herself up to sit, or _ tried _. The drugs seemed to be wearing off, and the ibuprofen hadn’t quite kicked in. The pain was getting worse.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to…” She gestured at herself in the bed.

He shook his head. “It’s not the first time someone’s stolen my bed, Miss Lopez.” He eyed her appraisingly. “Sobering up, are you?”

She nodded glumly.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small baggie of pills. “Top up?” he asked. “Or a slightly less virginal drink?”

She remembered to not shake her head. “No, I’m… good.”

He shrugged, pulled out a few and downed them. “More for me, then.”

She fell back to the pillows. She felt, suddenly, far too sober. But she didn’t want to be high, either. She turned to her side and curled into a ball. 

Lucifer tilted his head. “Are you—?”

“I think I might hate God,” she said quietly. This wasn’t a confessional, and he was clearly no priest, but, still, she felt the need to confess. To someone who might understand, to someone who _ maybe _ had been there.

He chuckled wearily. “Join the bloody club, love.”

She frowned at the blanket clenched in her hands. “I just…” But she didn’t have any words left.

He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Not an easy man to get along with, my father.”

She was struck, as she often was, by how deep his belief seemed to run, even if it was full of bitterness. “Do you—?” She cleared her throat. “Do you miss faith?”

Emotions flickered over his face so fast that all she was left with was a vague sense of loss. He leaned back on the bed next to her, steepling his fingers over his stomach. He lay in silence long enough she was sure he wouldn’t answer, but then he inhaled sharply, and spoke. “It was easier in some ways to be…replete, to be so filled with my purpose, but I always had doubts.”

She reached out to touch the back of his hand, and he pressed into the contact. “I-I used to say, ‘I doubt so I _ can _ believe.’ But now I’m not so sure.”

“Doubt only ever led me to further doubt, but you…” He turned his hand around and took hers.

She sobered up more as they lay side by side, him watching the ceiling, her watching him. A lot had happened today—too much, maybe—and she wanted nothing more than to give in to her tiredness and fall asleep. But her head was still too loud with thoughts of good and evil, Lucifer and God. “Why—?” She bit her lip. “Why does He let so much bad stuff happen?”

Lucifer sighed. “You know, I have been angry with Him for a _ very _ long time, but”—he shook his head—“it seems to me that all we really have is our choices, whatever good that does.”

She pressed her head deeper into the pillow. She didn’t know what to do with that. Not now. It had been so much easier to just _ not _ think about it. To stop herself from thinking about it, if necessary. But now all she had were the thoughts bouncing off the inside of her still pounding skull.

But then Lucifer inhaled sharply and continued, “And, you know, sometimes… when that choice is taken from us, all we’re left with is, well, each other.”

She propped herself up on her elbow to look at him more clearly. His eyes were dull and _ old _ and there was weariness in the lines of his face. “How long has it been since—?”

“Don’t,” he said sharply, then, voice lowering. “_Please _.”

“Okay,” she said quietly. He sat up and looked like he was going to get out of bed, and she grabbed his hand again. “Stay with me, _ please?”_

He glanced at her and nodded. They settled back into bed, and she pressed her forehead against his shoulder, closing her eyes. She could hear him breathe steadily beside her, and felt a tension she hadn’t even known she’d been carrying release somewhere in her chest. That place in her heart where faith had been wasn’t _ full_, now, precisely. But it didn’t hurt as much as it had. She might not know if she believed in God, but she could try to have faith in her friends.

And she knew, now, she wasn’t alone.


End file.
